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In this on-demand, technology-obsessed era, no-strings-attached sex seems easier to come by than ever. As you can probably imagine — or may know from personal experience — location is everything. Theoretically, you can hook up with a soon-to-be one-night stand anywhere, but according to Saucy Dates, a casual dating site, some locations are more popular than others, as far as the meeting location is concerned. In a recent survey of over 10,000 of their members, the found the best places to find a one-night stand.
'I think people like the idea of a one-night stand, as you can be more experimental and adventurous,' David Minns, Founder of Saucy Dates, tells Bustle. 'Additionally, many responders commented that they liked the excitement of someone new. If it doesn't work out, then nothing is lost — if it does, you have some experiences you can carry forward to a future relationship.'
Rachel Needle, Psy.D., licensed psychologist and certified sex therapist in West Palm Beach, FL, says there are definitely benefits of a one-night stand. 'It can be liberating and stress-free to have sex with someone with no expectations for where the relationship is going or what the emotional impact having sex will have on you or your partner,' she tells Bustle. 'Additionally, there are no expectations as far as performance goes, and this allows us to be more sexually free and take the pressure off that we often put on ourselves during sex. Also, one-night stands can serve as a great ego boost. It feels good to be able to have someone want to have sex with you solely based on your looks, charm, and the skills you have that night.'
But it's also important to be safe when it comes to casual sex, whether you're having sex with someone just once or hooking up with a friend with benefits. 'It is important that both parties are not drunk and are, therefore, able to consent and communicate about the hookup,' Dr. Needle says. 'In addition, remember to protect yourself as much as possible from STIs (sexually transmitted infections) by using protection in every step of the 'hookup.'
So without further ado, here are the top 10 venues to find a one-night stand, according to Saucy Dates' findings.
Fifteen percent of respondents reported meeting their one-night stands on the street. Who knew?! This will definitely make you think twice the next time you take a walk, right?
Yep, the good-old standard, a bar, made second place with 14 percent of respondents. It tied with 'a party' for where to meet a one-night stand. I guess the two are similar: You're out with friends (or not), you're drinking (or not), and there are plenty of eligible men and women in your vicinity.
If you find yourself at a hotel — perhaps for a casual drink or perhaps as part of a business trip — casual sex may be in the picture, too. Eleven percent of respondents said hotels were a good place to find a one-night stand. Now you know!
Nine percent of those surveyed said nightclubs are good places to pick people up for a night of sex. When you think about it, it makes sense, since you may already be in close contact with strangers while dancing with them.
Have you ever gone to a wedding alone? If so, were you seated at the singles' table? Eight percent of Saucy Dates respondents said weddings are great venues to find a one-night stand. After all, romance is in the air (as well as an open bar!).
Need proof? A friend of mine had a one-night stand at a wedding, and he and the woman ended up dating for three years. So not all one-night stands end at one night!
Next time you're on the train or bus, look around: Your next one-night stand could be sitting right behind you. Seven percent of those surveyed said public transportation makes for a good place to find a one-night stand. Maybe the thought of this will make your morning commute more enjoyable.
You may know people who go to the gym not to work out, but to pick people up. Well, they're not alone. Saucy Dates found that five percent of people use the gym, as well as museums, for more than the free weights or art exhibits.
Neighbors make for an easy way to meet new people, including one-night stands. Four percent of respondents said so, and it's not surprising. Plus, you already have mutual friends, which means you may trust that your soon-to-be one-night stand is a legit person you have a built-in level of comfort with versus a total stranger.
The next time you're shopping, you may be shopping for more than food or clothes. You may be asking someone's advice about fruit or a sale item one minute, and then find yourself at their apartment the next. Three percent of people said they found one-night stands this way. Who knew talking about tomatoes (or some other seemingly benign thing) could lead to so much more?
Concerts and online dating (dating apps and sites) came in 10th place as venues to find a one-night stand, with two percent of respondents choosing them. Is anyone else in shock about dating apps and sites coming in 10th place? Wow.
Overall, did any of the locations to find a one-night stand surprise you? 'The two biggest venue shocks had to be online dating and the street,' Minns says of the findings. 'The image that dating apps and sites have generated a hookup culture doesn't seem to fit in our findings — longer-term casual relationships appear to be the norm, which can then develop further. Also, the street coming out as number one was a total surprise. But, in reflection, it seems to make perfect sense. Maybe we will see more people trying this technique.'
I'm curious, too, if more people will try to pick up more one-night stands on the street. In any case, the above definitely makes you think twice about some of the one-night stand meeting locations, that's for sure!
×Photography by Kevin A. Roberts
801 Chophouse
Steakhouse. This restaurant is a throwback to the days when green-coated servers pushed guéridon carts through fine dining rooms. A magnificent oval bar anchors the restaurant, the fifth location of the Des Moines, Iowa–based steakhouse. Dinner daily. 137 Carondelet Plaza, 314-875-9900, 801restaurantgroup.com/st-louis.$$$$
801 Fish
Seafood. A worthy complement to sister restaurant 801 Chophouse, Fish has more contemporary décor and such seafood dishes as sautéed scallops (pictured). Consider visiting during happy hour, when appetizers are discounted and glass wines are half price. Dinner nightly. 172 Carondelet Plaza, 314-875-9636, 801fish.com. $$$$
Almonds Restaurant
American. In the increasingly competitive fried chicken scene, this inexpensive popular haunt—which also boasts many notable New Orleans–influenced dishes—continues to shine. Lunch Tue–Fri, dinner Tue–Sat. 8127 Maryland, 314-725-1019, almondsrestaurant.com.$$
Avenue
American. Chef Bryan Carr’s reliable newest outpost serves modern and homestyle fare with French accents. Ask for a seat in the backroom, with its fireplace and chandelier; it’s a great spot for a quiet business breakfast. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner daily, brunch Sat & Sun. 12 N. Meramec, Clayton, 314-727-4141, avestl.com. $$$
BARcelona Tapas Restaurant
Small Plates. This high-energy spot is famous for its sangria, small plates, and sidewalk tables. It’s well suited for a night out watching the game or a last drink during a first date. Lunch and dinner daily. 34 N. Central, 314-863-9909, barcelonatapas.com/st-louis.$$
Bar Les Frères
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French. Despite the name, Bar Les Frères is not your brothers’ bar. (It’s actually across the street from I Fratellini, also owned by restaurateur Zoe Robinson.) One of the most romantic restaurants in town, the tiny storefront is the perfect spot for a glass of Champagne, whether to make a first impression or to celebrate a special occasion. Dinner Mon–Sat. 7637 Wydown, 314-725-8880, barlesfreres.net. $$$
Café Napoli
Italian. A favorite among Clayton power brokers, Napoli serves pasta and other Italian standards. Pair your meal with a glass from the extensive wine list, available on tablets. Lunch Mon–Fri, dinner Mon–Sat. 7754 Forsyth, 314-863-5731, cafenapoli.com. $$$
Cantina Laredo
Mexican. Though the restaurant is the modern Mexican chain’s eighth location, the sleek space reads more Clayton than chain. Grab a margarita and a seat by the open fireplace, watch your server craft guacamole tableside, and don’t forget dessert. Lunch and dinner daily. 7710 Forsyth, 314-725-2447, cantinalaredo.com. $$
City Coffee House & Crêperie
Café. Ann Gallardo’s European café serves specialty breakfast, lunch, and dessert crêpes; homemade pastries; sandwiches; salads; and soups. Breakfast and lunch daily. 36 N. Brentwood, 314-862-2489, citycoffeeandcreperie.com. $
Companion Bakehouse
Café. This perennial lunch favorite serves fresh breads, daily soups, and fresh ingredients in a light, airy café loaded with charm and hospitality. The cowboy chili with cornbread is especially tasty. And no meal is complete without dessert, cookies in particular. Breakfast and lunch daily. 8143 Maryland, 314-352-4770, companionstl.com. $
The Crossing
European. This classic, unobtrusive spot wowed diners from the start, and it continues to dazzle. Its four-for-$35 tasting menu is a frontrunner for the best dining deal in St. Louis. At lunch, the burger is not to be missed. Lunch Mon–Fri, dinner Mon–Sat. 7823 Forsyth, 314-721-7375, fialafood.com/the-crossing. $$$$
Crushed Red Urban Bake & Chop Shop
Pizza. It’s not really a stolen car kind of chop shop. Here, individual pizzas are built to order, along with tasty chopped salads. The atmosphere is informal, happy, and convivial; the ingredients are flawless and delicious. Just don’t ask about aftermarket carburetors. Lunch and dinner daily. 8007 Maryland, 314-725-8007, crushed-red.com. $
DeMun Oyster Bar
Seafood. This diminutive on-trend oyster bar wows with its rotating selection of fresh bivalves, killer chowders, and an array of wines, craft cocktails, and beers. Dinner daily. 740 DeMun, 314-725-0322, demunoysterbar.com. $$
Dominic’s Trattoria
Italian. Tucked in the bottom of a Clayton condo, Dominic’s has remained one of the most beloved Chicken Parma palaces in St. Louis. Details like the tapenade accompanying the bread and perfectly timed service elevate this trattoria. Dress up, and appreciate a night of gracious eating. Lunch and dinner daily. 200 S. Brentwood, 314-863-4567, dominicsrestaurant.com. $$$
Five Star Burgers
American. Former Harvest owner Steve Gontram’s family-friendly burger outpost whips up ground beef perfection, alongside a stellar selection of locally focused craft beer and wine. All manner of burgers—beef, bison, and lamb—are served with such toppings as fried eggs, green chilies, and entertaining sauces. Lunch and dinner daily. 8125 Maryland, 314-720-4350, 5starburgersstl.com. $
The Grill
American. Oh, so classy. Dinner is an experience, surrounded by dark wood and white tablecloths, with superb presentations and sterling-silver service. There’s a decidedly decorous air of gentility and civility. Seafood, steaks, and a dazzling wine selection combine seamlessly for meals that are consistent with everything else at The Ritz. Dinner Tue–Sat. The Ritz-Carlton, 100 Carondelet, 314-863-6300, ritzcarlton.com. $$$$
Half & Half
American. A mix of standard fare and variations, such as mascarpone-and-lemon–layered pancakes, sate the appetites of sweet- and savory-breakfast aficionados alike in this packed-from-the-start champion of the local brunch scene. A rotating selection of guest roasters’ coffee is also a highlight. Breakfast and lunch Tue–Fri, Sat & Sun brunch. 8135 Maryland, 314-725-0719, halfandhalfstl.com. $$
I Fratellini
Italian. A longtime staple, Zoe Robinson’s cozy-but-elegant 40-seater is located in a quiet pocket of Clayton. Make a reservation and enjoy a romantic dinner of straightforward Italian classics. Lunch Mon–Fri, dinner Mon–Sat. 7624 Wydown, 314-727-7901, ifratellini.com. $$$
Katie’s Pizzeria Café
Pizza. A range of interestingly topped Tuscan-style pizzas, salads, and appetizers make up the menu at this eclectically decorated café. Classic toasted ravioli is kicked up with an artichoke-and-Gorgonzola–stuffed variation. Lunch and dinner daily. 6611 Clayton, 314-727-8585, katiespizzacafe.com. $$
Kaldi’s Coffee Roasting Co.
Café. The metro area’s largest third-wave coffee roaster serves up a range of hand-brewed, drip, and espresso coffee drinks and teas alongside a tasty selection of breakfast and lunch items. Vegetarian options abound. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner daily. 187 Carondelet Plaza, 314-726-2900. $
The Libertine
American. Since some kitchen changes, the fare is a little more classic comfort than the original menu. With owner Nick Luedde’s hospitality and eye for interesting wines, combined with the bar staff’s outstanding craft cocktails, The Libertine continues its winning ways. Dinner Tue–Sun. 7927 Forsyth, 314-862-2999, libertinestl.com. $$$
Louie’s Wine Dive
American. White barn wood adds brightness and charm to one of Clayton’s liveliest spots. Try the blackboard wines, both for the selection and for how they get sold off, Dutch auction–style. Lunch Mon–Fri, dinner nightly, brunch Sat & Sun. 16 S. Bemiston, 314-875-9373,louieswinedive.com. $$
Mayana Mexican Kitchen
Mexican. The owners of Hacienda make their first foray into the fast-casual realm. Mayana boasts fresh street tacos, salads, bowls, and quesadillas, plus ultra-speedy service. We love the Wet Burrito, topped with queso and red and green sauces—the colors of the Mexican flag. Lunch & dinner Mon–Sat. 7810 Forsyth, 314-833-8200, mayanamex.com.$
Morton’s The Steakhouse
Steakhouse. It has steaks. Surprised? No. You know what the place is: a famous chain with top-quality meat and a luxurious atmosphere. You eat here while entertaining clients or protein-loving pals or while celebrating something special. It delivers. It isn’t cheap, but life’s short. And a steak dinner from Morton’s is glorious. Dinner daily. 7822 Bonhomme, 314-725-4008, mortons.com.$$$$
Oceano Bistro
Seafood. Seafood flown in daily and an ultra-quiet dining room continue to bring diners to one of the city’s only seafood restaurants, one of the hottest see-and-be-seen spots. Call ahead for a window seat. Lunch Mon–Sat, dinner daily, brunch Sun. 44 N. Brentwood, 314-721-9400, oceanobistro.com. $$$
Pastaria
Italian. A wide selection of house-made organic pastas (pictured) account for the bulk of the menu at this family-focused dining hall. Wood-fired pizzas and veggie-centric apps make up the rest. And with the reasonable prices, you can enjoy some gelato, too. Lunch and dinner Mon–Fri, brunch sat & Sun. 7734 Forsyth, 314-862-6603, pastariastl.com. $$
Peno
Italian. Ask chef-owner Pepe Kehm to explain “Southern Italian soul food,” and you’ll surely want some spaghetti verde and sides such as braised greens in lemon sauce. The restaurant is tiny, so consider dining when the patio is an option. Dinner Tue–Sun, brunch Sat & Sun. 7600 Wydown, 314-899-9699, penosoulfood.com. $$
Remy’s Kitchen & Wine Bar
American. A standout on Clayton’s formidable dining scene, Remy’s is a frequent winner of the Wine Spectator Award of Excellence. Lesser known is the “ecstatic hour,” luring post-work crowds with small dishes and cocktails to ease the transition from work time to your time. Lunch Mon–Fri, dinner Mon–Sat. 222 S. Bemiston, 314-726-5757, remyskitchen.com.$$$
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The Restaurant
American. The owners wasted no energy coming up with a clever name and instead put it all into the cool, dark décor, with an iceberg-sized bar dominating the center of an attractive dining space. The food’s suitably chic. Brunch is extravagant, with dishes such as prime rib hash, and the cocktails are good anytime. Breakfast daily, lunch Mon–Sat. The Ritz-Carlton, 100 Carondelet, 314-863-6300, ritzcarlton.com. $$$
Ruth’s Chris Steakhouse
Steakhouse. Ruth’s Chris is ideal for those moments when you’ve just gotta dress up and eat a week’s worth of protein paired with gorgeous wine. The atmosphere is opulent, and service shines. Dinner daily. 1 N. Brentwood, 314-783-9900, ruthschris.com. $$$$
Sasha’s Wine Bar
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Wine Bar. As soon as is climatically possible, Sasha’s folding glass doors open to a charming patio that has been popular since its inception in 2003. One don’t-miss is a smoked salmon and trout crepe paired with a flight of white wines, followed by a stroll through the lush seminary grounds across the street. Lunch and dinner daily. 706 De Mun,314-863-7274, sashaswinebar.com. $$
Sauce on the Side
Italian. The concept is brilliant in its simplicity: half a dozen salads and 15 kinds of calzones, with 10 sauces “on the side” for dipping. Lunch and dinner Mon–Sat. 7810 Forsyth, 314-833-5426, eatcalzones.com. $
Tani Sushi Bistro
Japanese/Sushi. After a recent move, the sushi spot benefits from a larger space with a lounge-like feel. Sushi and sashimi (pictured) are fine, but consider specialties like tempura and teriyaki. Lunch Mon–Fri, dinner Mon–Sat. 7726 Forsyth, 314-296-8069, tanisushi.com. $$
Wasabi Sushi Bar
Japanese/Sushi. The popular local chain serves up sushi, noodles, and other Japanese fare. Go with the Wasabi combinations, or consider the generously portioned bento. Lunch Mon–Sat, dinner daily. 16 S Central Ave, 314-721-9970, wasabisushibars.com. $$
Whitebox Eatery
American. Enjoy a range of breakfast and lunch classics, as well as house-made pastries, inside an airy cosmopolitan space. Breakfast and lunch Mon–Fri, brunch Sat & Sun. 176 Carondelet Plaza, 314-862-2802, whiteboxeatery.com. $